Life: The Up and Down of 201230.12.12
Hi guys! I can't believe that 2012 is nearly over, it doesn't feel like it has been a year since this time last year...does that...
I can't believe that 2012 is nearly over, it doesn't feel like it has been a year since this time last year...does that make any sense? This time last year I was planning a massive holiday, my first holiday in five years, as well as supposedly studying for exams.
I think the main reason that I got through the first year of uni fairly easily because I had the support there; being my ex whom also studied at the same uni and lived nearby. He was there for me when I was feeling a little bit lonely/left out because I felt like I didn't fit in as well with the whole uni lifestyle. Looked after me when I was ill, stressed out and feeling down. He also helped me with checking over my essay, a help that I didn't have this year when my level of stress increased by about 80%. I could also get away from the flatmates when the thin walls and loud noises were getting a bit too much to live with. It just meant that I had separate life from the normal uni life. Nonetheless, I mainly got through last year because I was looking forward to my big holiday on the 23rd of June.
Big Holiday 1.0 - Bangkok, Thailand
I'm a massive massive food fan. My favourite food of all has to be Thai food in Thailand. I mean, there are so many choices, I could never get bored with the food, even if I like to eat the same thing again all the time. But all these food just brought me back to my childhood and make me very homesick. Don't get me wrong, I love living in England but like they say there is no place like home. Thus, no place like Thailand.
Here are just my favourite food ever, in the whole wide world:
Obviously, Thailand isn't only good for food. I mean the sight are amazing too. I'm ever so grateful to have been brought up there and so fortunate to be able to go back and experience it again. Just to emphasise how incredible it is.
Even though, the weather was a little bit hectic, it was just nice enough for me to go and do whatever it is I wanted to do during the day and turned bad at night when I got back to the hotel (apart from one time when we got stuck on the bus in the traffic for about 3 hours). If anything, I was very very sad to be leaving Thailand. However, it seems to be that every times I return to Thailand, something amazing always happened to me (the first time I went back, I won a gold ring!). This time, I got upgraded to Business Class on my flight to Hong Kong!
Oh, and I got to hold a real life penguin...I just went into the zoo and it was feeding time. The guy just took out a penguin and let me hold it. I was the first one and everything! Definitely, the highlight of my life.
Big Holiday 2.0 - Hong Kong
Now, before I went to Hong Kong, I didn't really know anything about it. So, I pretty much went there without any kind of expectations. I really enjoyed myself there and I'm sure that I would have enjoyed it so much more if I wasn't ill for 3 full weeks. If you haven't ill for that amount of time, you would not understand how rough it was on me to push myself to enjoy myself everyday because you know, it's still a holiday. Nonetheless, looking back I really wish that I had gotten better because I would have enjoyed the fantastic views/treks much more. Also, things there were a lot more expensive than what I was used to in Thailand. Although, I did discovered the gem of SASA.
It was definitely the best six weeks of my life. I got to visit Hong Kong which was absolutely breath-taking. I managed to become a little kid again when I was taken to Disneyland. I had never been to Disneyland before this but as a kid, the only films that my dad would let me watch were Disney films. It was great! I also started my blog whilst I was in Hong Kong.
Now it's going down
After I got back from holiday, it was quite tough for a while because I had to recuperate from my illness which took about a week. By that time, my ex went back to uni to take a resit which means that after six weeks of being constantly together, we had to be apart for a month. It was a massive change. A change that deepen a crack in our relationship, a crack which I noticed but ignored because I thought that maybe in time, things would go back to normal. Although, he definitely thought differently because he ended it without much of a discussion or effort to make it work.
After a while, I went back to uni to somewhat create a new uni life, which I truly enjoyed, our initial addiction to Articulate took my mind out of the 'real issues'. Although, denial only worked for a while before you have to face the issue. I spoke to my ex again after a month of separation (not my best decision but I was upset and lonely and I felt like there was unfinished business). We talked for a while, some of it was me just crying on the phone about how hard I was finding uni life, other time it was just casual chat. Nonetheless, I decided to stop talking to him once I realised that he wasn't really actually there for me because I texted him one day asking to talk to him about something important (I wanted to drop out of uni, I was finding it hard, housemate was being a total tool and overall it was just making me feel crap) but he didn't reply. After three days, I told him I don't want him in my life any more because if I were to move on, I can't imagine a way for him to fit into my life and we haven't spoken since. It has been over a month.
I know this has been a very long post. It's just that I haven't actually share most of these information with my real life friends. I wasn't quite ready to talk to my friends about my holiday because it largely revolved around my ex and it was a sore subject (I mean I talked to them about our conversation etc. but it's not the same). Anyway, I hope this post has been somewhat decent enough to read for you to get to know me a bit more and it's also something I have been wanting to share for a very long time.